Wimbledon 2014: Live blog

Lucky no. 7

Lucky no. 7

Men’s final this morning. I do love the time difference for the Roland Garros and Wimbledon finals.

8am: Breakfast at Wimbledon

Too bad breakfast isn’t actually provided when you watch Breakfast at Wimbledon. Misleading. Remember the Dinner and a Movie series on TBS (I think) where the cohosts guided you through a recipe during a rom-com back in the day? I tuned in for the first time because I thought for some reason that I’d get to eat if I watched. #dumb

What the…Wimbledon isn’t being broadcast on NBC? Shit. Where’s my PAPER GUIDE that Time Warner Cable sent me? It’s not on NBC Sports Network either? Oh. Thanks, Internet. It’s ESPN. Where is ESPN on TWC’s new lineup again? Omg, it took me five whole minutes to figure out what channel was airing this.

Ha, LZ Granderson just said that Novak keeps getting booed at Wimbledon whenever he wins points.

Last British male to win Wimbledon, pre–Andy Murray? Boys’ champion? Stanley Matthews? Sigh. I don’t care.

I like the shade of blue of John McEnroe’s tie.

Hannah Storm is annoying. She first came to my attention when McSteamy (ugh) yelled at her on the TV in Valentine’s Day (UGH). Where’s Mary Carillo?

Hey, Princess Diana was there when Pat Cash won. Hey, matching shirts!

Now this second-string panel is discussing yesterday’s women’s final. I can’t believe how long they’re dragging this out. I can’t believe I always watch.

Burn, Hannah. She just said that yesterday’s Breakfast at Wimbledon lasted longer than the actual women’s final (55 minutes).

I’m so glad that Justin Bieber fan did not win.

MJ Fernandez on Bouchard: “She’s the complete package: She’s got the looks…” SO GROSS. Why can’t you include that later and attempt to hide after the actual important stuff? And from a woman, no less. NOT COOL.

Who’s narrating this Roger Federer pre-tape? I’m still here… Creepy.

Haha, N just texted me: “These very dramatic, celebrity narrated videos are weird.” She thinks it was Clive Owen because he was in a photo with Hannah Storm this morning. I think Clive Owen’s accent is stronger than this guy?

Another Roger promo. Ugh. Still is the word that causes damnation for an athlete? What about loseDrought?

If Roger wins, he’ll be the oldest Wimbledon champion (and oldest Grand Slam champ in the open era) ever. Ew, there’s Roger and his 2003 ponytail! Man, those BLAZERS.

They’re doing the Novak promo with this mystery narrator now. WHO IS IT? Oh. Someone on Twitter says it’s Kit Harington. SO IT HAS TO BE TRUE.

Who is this fake-crying little girl who loves Novak so much? Somebody get her a One Direction poster.

Ha, the 2007 US Open men’s final. Can’t believe that was their only other GS final. What did Novak joke would be the title of his memoir? Oh yeah, Seven Set Points. That amused me.

Ah, besides Kit Harington, Clive Owen and Kate Winslet did stuff too. Oh gross, this Clive Owen thing is so weird.

WHY IS THERE A HAWK (or whatever, I don’t know my birds) at Centre Court?

Freakin’ Wimbledon with the “gentlemen’s” championship.

Ooh, Will and Kate are here. (No, I will not have this “Catherine” nonsense.)

Darren Cahill, where are the glasses? You look dumber without them, now that I’ve seen you with them.

I don’t want to watch these yahoos fill out this chart. Should’ve just tuned in at 9.

NOVAK’S WEARING TOO MUCH RED. Guess this passed muster with the All-England Club and its insane dress code.

9am: They’re descending the stairs now

That RF logo. This old guy who sat on the subway next to me yesterday was wearing that hat and I almost started chatting with him.

I wonder who Will and Kate are rooting for. It’s got to be Roger, right? Can’t imagine that old-school Brits are okay with Serbians.

Ha, love any instance of Johnny Mac making everything all about him. (This isn’t sarcasm. It is really hilarious/amusing and I love it when he talks about himself, Connors, Borg…)

Who is this kid? He’s wearing a freakin’ T-shirt on Centre Court. It’s a charity tee, but COME ON, KID. At least ask for a polo.

Eek. Lay off the bier, Becker. Your double chin is threatening to make an appearance.

Were Patrick and John trying to subtly sneak in some patriotism in with their tie color choices?

This cellist is playing “Kings and Queens.” I thought this was an Aussie Open promo song.

9:10am: IT’S STARTING

Of course Mirka’s on her phone again. Where’s Anna?

How does Rod Laver travel so often to these things? The man’s 75. Isn’t all that air travel stressful to your body at that age? Doesn’t he live in Southern California?

Roger’s really making him run.

That was very out.

Still on serve at 2-2. Boring. Hurry up, Roger!

Ooh, deuce. Fed’s serving. Well, that was quick.

Samuel L. Jackson! Ooh, I like Victoria’s dress.

The crowd is laughing at this rally.

Haha, Roger missed that.

Tiebreak. Haha. Mirka tossed a tennis ball. Ah, dammit, Novak’s up 5-4. 6-5. Haha, Chris Fowler just said that Roger had a “scornful look.” 8-7 Roger, and the crowd goes wild (they must really hate Novak). Ha, Roger wins the first set AND THEY CHEER EVEN LOUDER.

10am: SECOND SET

Seriously, where’s Jelena?

AND NOVAK FALLS. Ouch.

Break back, Roger!

The guy next to Becker looks like a less-attractive Elysium-era Matt Damon:

PSA: Wear sunblock.

PSA: Wear sunblock.

Ah, so Jelena is “too nervous” and still at their Wimbledon rental house.

And Roger doesn’t get the break. And…Novak’s serving really well too. Second set to Novak.

10:47am: Sigh, they’re tied now

I hope this isn’t a five-setter.

Ooh, celebs: Clive Owen, Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman (I can’t even), and Bradley Cooper.

Not his look.

Not his look

I don’t care what role you’re doing—honestly, what is that?

5-5. Ugh.

YUCK, BREAK POINT. Oh never mind. (I love it when Novak yells at himself.) Ugh, deuce. Oh goody, Roger won the game.

Tiebreak again…SHARP EYESIGHT, Roger. Stop complaining, Novak! Gross, he won the set.

11:36am: I can’t

TRIPLE BREAK POINT? What is happening?

I don’t get how Novak is playing (boo) so well here when the crowd HATES HIM.

Go, Roger! (Novak kicked a chair!)

Novak breaks again. Sigh. I MISS RAFA.

Look at Roger at the net! HE MEANS BUSINESS.

5-2. Roger is annoyed.

Oh man, Novak has a “7” on his shoes. I guess that’s only if he wins this one, which it looks like he’s poised to do. Seems a little unlucky. Oh never mind. Roger’s shoes to reflect his seven Wimbledon titles.

G.D., Roger. YOU FIGHT THE FIGHT!

Championship point. Saved.

6-5 Roger. TOO MUCH. THIS IS TOO MUCH.

Of course the plebes on Henman Hill are having way more fun than the stodgy BLOKES in Centre Court who show up in a suit and tie in JULY. (Also: I reject Murray Mound. I like Andy but don’t need to think about his nether regions, thanks.)

12:28pm: Fifth set is happening

Will and Kate are applauding. They’re SO pulling for Roger.

Hm, Novak’s getting some work done…

I just made eggs. I love eggs. Digging in…just in time to see Roger squander that break point.

Triple break point for Novak. Sigh. And it’s deuce. THIS IS TOO MUCH.

What a waste of a challenge.

Championship point No. 2.

And…Jelena’s on her way.

1:10pm: “Presentation party”

Roger’s girls are so cute!

Aw, “runner-up Roger Federer.” Good for him, pushing it to five sets.

“Thank you for letting me win today.” Almost cute.

“The best tournament in the world, the best one.” What did he call AO? His “favorite”?

Fine, the dedication was pretty sweet.

The runner-up plate is a little sad-looking.

Bright side: It’ll be easier for Rafa to catch Roger, if he ever does.

Ooh, Will and Kate said congratulations to Novak. Good manners they’ve got. Kate’s “out of practice” and Novak asks about Pippa. SCANDAL.

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